| a fishing village in japan |
[Mar. 17th, 2012|03:15 am] |
Who knew I would meet a girl from the southern tip of Japan who I could instantly have such a strong bond with? I had met her last week and we bonded over froyo, spicy soondabu and meaningful conversation. She was on the exchange program and only around here for a little over a week. We were talking about the lyrics to iron and wine songs. Jonsi ambient music and the feelings his music conveyed to us. The awesomeness that is live music. American vs. Japanese cultural differences. Midori vs. Naoko and the merits of each girl. The bravery of Owen Meany. Remote places in the world we've been and want to go to. Indirect language. Passion in education. Happenstance. Dark beer. Synchronicity. Stillness.
How people don't talk about what really matters.
I think I need to meet more people.
Oh and I've been totally addicted to online Dominion. I play random strangers on the internetz. |
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| the big EIGHT |
[Feb. 25th, 2012|08:26 pm] |
About to have some people over to my apt. to celebrate my getting older. Sick and contemplative. Always an interesting combo.
Staying in SF for another year. Every time I'm out in SF wandering the streets I fall more and more in love with this city. I wish it hadn't taken me so long to move up here. I guess it's for comparison sake. Still enjoyed the 3465 days but completely different.
I had a very chill nye with who I would've never guessed. Did it up chill thinking that it determines what the rest of the year will be like. Spent most of the day with my mom.
2011:
- Was a year of countless concerts. Enough to fill my ticket stub diary. My ears were very happy. The best part was being able to walk to a lot of them (fillmore, indy). Def a treat that I can get used to. Concerts are def now a mainstay and don't get as excited as I used to. But every once in awhile will be very. And always when I'm there there is no where else I'd rather be.
- Europe trip with 8 other good folks. Dancing in the streets of nice. Having a beer (or 10) at delirium. the small parks and cafes of paris. the canals and design of amsterdam. the grandness of la sagrada. the kindness of strangers.
-Caicos with 7 other good folks. Dancing again in the streets to the beat of the drum. Night swimming when drunk and recounting "s and t"s 10 favorite adventures together. dancing on a boat with the sunsetting in the background belly full of bad cheap rum. playing camps. 1000s shades of blue. walking out 150 feet from the shore and still being only waist deep in the warmest happiest water.
-vegas twice ("last" girls trip before we get "too old")
-meeting new people and living through the trenches with them
-tuesday game nights
-LA with mckrew
-making the most awesome beautiful mug in the world.
AND SO..
rage rage against the dying of the light. |
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| . |
[Sep. 18th, 2011|01:47 am] |
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Why are you taking so long to find me? |
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| luff |
[Jul. 19th, 2011|03:10 pm] |
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“Love—why, I’ll tell you what love is: it’s you at seventy-five and her at seventy-one, each of you listening for the other’s step in the next room, each afraid that a sudden silence, a sudden cry, could mean a lifetime’s talk is over.” |
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| red string |
[May. 6th, 2011|01:07 pm] |
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“In primal times people were globular spheres who wheeled around like clowns doing cartwheels. There were three sexes: the all male, the all female, and the “androgynous,” who was half man, half woman. The creatures tried to scale the heights of heaven and planned to set upon the gods. Zeus thought about just blasting them to death with thunderbolts, but did not want to deprive himself of their devotions and offerings, so he decided to cripple them by chopping them in half. After chopping the people in half, Zeus turned half their faces around and pulled the skin tight and stitched it up to form the belly button. Ever since that time, people run around saying they are looking for their other half because they are really trying to recover their primal nature.” |
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| It's easier for me to fall asleep and to wake up when I sleep next to you |
[Apr. 28th, 2011|10:46 pm] |
The commute has definitely been taking it's toll on me. This is what I wanted to do. Talked about moving up to SF for the past two years, then I went ahead and up and did it. 5 minute work commute has turned into a 50 minute work commute. I have Jad and Robert to keep me company. That or I can listen to two albums in their entirety.
Still looking for my local watering hole. Have been to some of the neighborhood bars on my own. Like walking to the smaller music venues. Mostly enjoying the wandering in a larger city. You can never quite get lost in the suburbs the way you can in the city. In her sights, sounds and smells. Walking around aimlessly. Stopping in for a drink. Finding a place to sit down and people watch. Mostly in cafes with a notebook and pen. Or my beloved Kindle. Or I'll find a tree in Alamo Square. Lay out my blue checkered blanket. Daydream.
Am heading to Europe next month for a 3 wk long trip. Back when I was my 25 y.o. self I had fantasies of reading a moveable feast. Some stranger would strike up a conversation with me. We'd somehow manage to talk for hours. Wander the city on foot until the sun came up. Or I had fantasies about going to Europe with a bf. Been waiting for too long for that to happen so decided to go ahead and just go. Go before I regret never having gone.
Move to SF. It's those things we don't do, that we tend to regret. Without change something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens. |
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| broke the happy upbeat music streak |
[Dec. 18th, 2010|06:42 pm] |
Listened to some indie folk music a couple days ago for the first time in a couple of months. Well, since the Sufjan Stevens concert (which was amazing and made me oh so happy and oh so Life is good). Told myself that I would just be listening to upbeat music in the form of gangsta rap or electronica for as long as I could hold out. All the indie wrist slitting music was not doing any good for me mood wise.
Was driving a couple of strangers from a make a wish grant shopping spree task and the mixture of rain and girl talk's f bombs dropping every 5 seconds or so made me switch the music to Bon Iver. Both passengers fell into a trance and soon asked me who the softer sounding Sting was. Been listening to him since.
Can't deny that LJ hasn't crossed my mind.
Was going from store to store for about 5 hours that night, but it was made worthwhile when the wish child broke out in the hugest smile when Richard, the GameStop manager, handed over a much coveted video game. The wish child was quiet and thoughtful for most of the time being wheeled about by his younger sister. His wish was to have a Winter Wonderland type experience with his family. To think that that could be his last. Really puts into perspective my own first quality type problems.
Can't believe that this year is almost up. Am mostly relieved because of the way it had started out and am excited about the prospect of starting off with a clean slate for 2011. Though there were some downs (mom rear ending me with her new car into my new car, never again being able to hear grandpa tell me i am a good girl) there were definitely a lot of good things.
And because my grey matter can't do the job on its own:
- concerts: sufjan stevens, ti, outside lands, band of horses at amoeba, the dodos at the new parish, massive attack (missed thievery corp) at the greek, passion pit, mgmt, the magnetic fields, swell season
-biking across the gg bridge with sue, mark, josh to saulsalito for some good ol ice cream
-one month backpacking trip in bolivia and argentina (sunrise over the salar de uyuni, seeing the milky way from the southern hemisphere, meeting the kindest most trustworthy south americans, seeing sunset over the amazon rainforest, flamingoes everywhere, going clubbing at 2 and leaving at 7)
-getting high for the first time with M
-Las Vegas x 3 (s,p,g encore/gambling cocobust at croy high; tank with j and co.; p's bachlorette)
-New York x 2
-PS, YM weddings
-leaving tomorrow to Taiwan/Thailand with s for 10 days
-Chicago for R's 30th
-Stronger relationships with gfs and mom
-staying in a yurt at big sur with mom,k
-k visiting a lot
-raining men |
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| The View from there Will Change your Life |
[Oct. 18th, 2010|11:43 pm] |
Went to the Treasure Island Music Festival this past weekend. Was utterly happy with the positive vibe. The day started out with homemade pancakes from scratch, bacon and scrambled eggs. Good company with complete strangers. A scooted out cause she had to to meet with some old co-workers. So there I found myself with three new folks that also had a penchant for similar tunes. We vibed over good food and Little Dragon playing in the background.
Came prepared with my picnic in a backpack, which I will bust out at any and all opportune moments. You never know when you'll need plastic stemware! Bought some edible truffles from a man wearing a spiked straw hat. Boarded the fancy bus that transported us to TI in nervous anticipation.
Indulged in Phantogram. Tickled my ears with Four Tet. Watched the ferris wheel turn and the clouds roll by. Bobbed my head to !!!. The sun and the sky turned on full force when kruder and dorfmeister performed. The sun then slowly set as I stood there trying to understand and appreciate where I was.
Fell in love with Yukimi Nagano. Watched her as she moved her funky tambourine, played the cymbal alongside the drummer and swayed her arms back and forth. I was 10 feet away from her at one point and I swooned. Well more like fell over cause an overweight, drunk white man pushed me. But it was worth it. Danced spastically and continuously to maus and soundsystem. Had a huge grin on my face the entire time. Closed my eyes and mouthed the lyrics to Miike Snow's "Silvia".
Saw San Francisco's skyline from ti's vantage point. The fog. The bay.
The blonde haired, green-eyed boy told me of another vantage point that if I were to visit, would change my life. I do want to save it to see with another. But maybe it's something I need to do for myself. Perhaps after my book challenge. |
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| not sure where else to share this |
[Oct. 3rd, 2010|10:41 pm] |
Finally worked up the nerve to attend a concert by myself. I didn't want to miss out on a Glen and Marketa performance. Better yet, it was at Mountain Winery, a venue I hadn't checked out yet and heard great things about. The audience members were composed of an older (what white people like) crowd. There were also young children. On my way in, I saw a 7-year-old boy dressed up in a vest and newsboy hat which made a passerby exclaim how cute he looked. I made myself look busy before the show started. Went to the bathroom, bought myself a tasty Blue Moon and set out to find my seat.
I found my seat in the front, right section. Ten rows back. Sat next to a larger couple on my right and a family on my left. The seat right beside was empty. Looked up to find the moon every once in awhile as I watched Black Francis of the late Pixies perform. I only knew "Where is My Mind" because of Fight Club. Heard Phoenix perform that song at Outside Lands this past weekend too. Tangent.
Soon after, the empty seat was occupied by a middle aged Indian man. We talked and he shared how he saw the Imogen Heap concert a few months back. We shared concert going experiences and other bands/artists we enjoyed. He told me that he hadn't had dinner yet and was excited about taking pictures of The Swell Season. Another tangent.
I'm really here to write about the man who jumped from three stories high and killed himself on stage.
The performance was a very intimate one. Glen told the audience the story about a lady who he met in chicago. And how she finally found the courage to leave her house after 2 years. The audience hummed the background vocals whenever Glen cued us to. Marketa shared that she would always remember this concert because she did her first outfit change. She had changed from her cute, modest dress to jeans and a sweater since it had gotten really cold.
But she won't be remembering the concert due to her outfit change anymore.
Glen was poking fun at another one of the guitarists and had the audience sing-along to his first rocking out song and then it happened. Something black fell from the sky. Everyone was wondering what that was. A gag joke? A lighting fixture? There it landed, a couple feet away from Glen.
My reaction was to leave as soon as possible. A man in the audience had a hard attack. The crowd was subdued. Then people started crying when reality set in.
I felt very much alone.
(august 20, 2010) |
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